Clarity and Perspective and How they Impact Our Ability to Fully Heal
“Even the smallest shift in perspective can bring about the greatest healing.” ~Dr. Joshua Kai
When we are grieving from loss we can often get caught up in the lenses of our own vision and version of events. This can greatly hinder our ability to fully heal from not just a significant loss, but the negative accumulation of all our losses experienced throughout our lives. Unresolved grief is cumulatively negative and can become a very heavy burden to carry as we get older and start to experience the inevitable significant losses such as parents, spouses, unfortunately even children, and close friends.
Much of the weight of unresolved grief is compounded by hurts, betrayals, abuse, and/or neglect inflicted by the person we have lost and the burden of pain we are still left carrying after they are gone from our lives. We can also be left with feelings of wishing things had been different, that our lives together had been better, and that we had experienced more love. In addition, we can even feel the extreme weight of our own guilt in wishing we had been different, better or gave more. Having worked with dozens of clients and taking them through a Grief Recovery process what often helps people feel better is clarity and perspective.
The Merriam-Webster definition of clarity is, “The quality or state of being clear.”
We find clarity through gaining knowledge and learning about grief, how it affects people and how they can and often react to unresolved grief. In becoming clear we gain a new sense of awareness that allows us to appreciate and see not just ours but their pain from a new light or perspective.
The definition of perspective is, “A particular way of thinking about something.”
Our perspectives are influenced by our experiences and beliefs, and when we take off the lenses of our own vision and version of the past we can allow ourselves to see things differently. This new perspective can shed light on some of the why’s and how’s of our suffering and contribute significantly to our healing process.
With greater clarity and a different perspective, we can start to feel compassion for ourselves and for those who have contributed to our pain and suffering. We can lighten the weight of our grief through forgiveness of others and ourselves.
In summary, clarity leads to perspective, which then opens us up to feelings of compassion, which then gives us permission to forgive. Forgiveness gives us the gift of healing.
If you would like to find out more about Grief Recovery, please contact me and see if you could benefit from one of my programs.