Decisions: Why, Where, What, Who, How?

“Don’t make a permanent decision for your temporary emotion.” ~Wiz Khalifa

“Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.” ~Mark Twain

“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” ~Roy Disney

“I am NOT a product of my circumstances. I AM a product of my decisions.” ~Stephen Covey

“We can try to avoid making choices by doing nothing, but even that is a decision.” ~Gary Collins

“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” ~Tony Robbins


Over the last several years of being on the path to healing, one of the greatest lessons I have learned has been about making decisions: why we make them, where do they come from? what are they about? who is really making them? and how we know it’s the right decision?


I have to admit I have made some pretty poor decisions in my lifetime, and I have also made some pretty good decisions. I find that it is from the poor decisions that my greatest lessons and personal growth have emerged, as well as my desire to understand the why, where, what, who and how of decision-making.

So why do we make decisions?
The answer to this one is quite simple actually: because we need to. In order to move forward in life, we have to make decisions every single day. In every moment we are in a point of decision from small ones such as what to eat, to larger ones such as which career path to choose. All of these decisions steer the course of our life and affect our health, happiness and wellbeing.

What matters here is not so much the why but the quality of our decision-making process. Once we realize decision-making is a given in life and that it is the quality of those decisions that shape our life, then we can start to become more concerned about the where, what, who and how.

Where do they come from?
We would all like to think we are enlightened beings completely conscious in all of our choices and decision-making but unfortunately that is not the truth. Think of a computer with all kinds of programming running in the background. Our minds are much the same.

Our subconscious mind is always running, always affecting our decisions. In fact, it is estimated that 95% of all of our choices and decisions come from our subconscious programming. This programming has been occurring from the moment of our conception unbeknownst to us. If you find yourself always making poor choices, then it may be time to look at your programming and start to rewrite it. This brings us to the what.

What are they about?
So, knowing most of our decisions are subconscious, we are left to wonder what is behind them. To put it simply, we make decisions primarily based on one of two emotions: fear or love. Fear can be disguised as anger, hate, resentment, control, guilt, envy, greed, sense of lack, or shame. Love looks and feels like peace, contentment, gratitude, joy, happiness, calm, abundance, cooperation, respect, trust and generosity of spirit.

When you can see—and most importantly feel—what your decisions are about, then you can then decipher the who of your decision-making!

Who is really making them?
This is also a simple answer leading to a more complex solution. The simple answer to who is making our decision is either our wounded ego or our higher self. Our wounded ego will make decisions based on false beliefs created from early and past programming, typically an effect of where we have been wounded.

Our higher self will make decisions from our healed self or inspiration, or as Wayne Dyer would say, “In Spirit”.

If we are making decisions from our wounded ego then it is our responsibility to take whatever steps we need to take in order to heal, otherwise we will continue to make decisions that may not serve our greatest good. This leads us to how do we know?

How do we know we are making the right decision?
This one can be a challenge for many people, because we can get mixed messages. Our ego can be telling us in the moment it must be right because it feels good, yet deep down our gut is telling us it is wrong. We need to learn how to start listening to the small voice inside—to our gut or intuition. We also need to let our heart into the equation.

Always making decisions from our heads alone may be leaving our higher self behind. However, making decisions from the heart alone may be leaving out important items that matter during our consideration. An alignment of head and heart is always a good sign.

I often use something as simple as asking myself if it’s a “Hell Yes” or not? If not then it’s a “Hell No”. Excitement, inspiration (in spirit), motivation and energy are also good indicators of right decision. Lack of excitement, no inspiration, no motivation and low energy are indicators of wrong decision.

One thing I have learned is this: even though we may sometimes make a wrong decision, we can always make the decision to learn and grow from it. A mistake is only a mistake if we don’t learn or grow and if we repeat it. Decision making is risky business, but it is also a part of life and living to the fullest.

Why not see if you can deconstruct your decisions by asking where, what, who and how? Have an awesome time filled with right decisions.

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