“I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.” ~J.R.R. Tolkien
When you read the words ‘Good Grief’ together I am sure your immediate thoughts are no way, grief is NOT good, what an oxymoron!
What if we could look at grief from a different perspective, a perspective that could actually allow us to navigate through it without it completely debilitating us and wreaking havoc on our lives?
What if we could allow ourselves to feel it fully with all of the pain it brings, and still know that we will be okay?
What if we could actually see the inevitable losses and associated grief that comes with these losses as opportunities for personal growth and transformation?
What if we could take the emotional energy sometimes ignited by grief to create something positive in the world? Just think of MADD, it was created from the throes of grief.
What if our grief could make us better people versus bitter people? All of these ‘what ifs’ are what can let our grief come to some good in our lives.
When working with people I see a tremendous amount of unresolved grief from many and any types of loss. It is not having sad feelings that make it unresolved, my mother died eighteen years ago, and I still experience moments of sadness. It is the lack of completion that makes grief unresolved.
If we can look at the loss from the perspective of saying good-bye and letting go of what could have been different, better or more we can find some resolution. If we can allow ourselves to express any unspoken communication, apologies and words of forgiveness we can find some resolution. If we can allow ourselves to feel our grief in order to heal our grief we can find some relief. If we could just find a way to accept our losses as one of the givens of life we could find some peace.
The best part of grief, if there can be anything good, is what we allow ourselves to learn from it, how we allow ourselves to grow from it, and if we choose to become more loving, compassionate, understanding and giving people because and in spite of it.
Choosing ‘Good Grief’ is not always easy and often needs the right support and environment. Consider attending one of my upcoming One Day Intensive programs as a start in allowing your grief to become a part of your personal growth.
“As you say good bye to lingering disappointments and unattended grief, you will discover that every person, situation and painful incident comes bearing gifts.” ~Debbie Ford