GRIEF in Other Words
“In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.” ~Albert Einstein
G – Gone
Gone is the one you loved.
Gone is the job you had.
Gone is your youth.
Gone is the pet that loved you unconditionally.
Gone is your health.
Gone is your marriage.
Gone is your safety.
Gone is your trust.
Gone is your addiction.
Gone is your wealth.
Gone are your hopes, dreams and expectations.
Gone are your opportunities to make things different, better or have just a bit more… fill in the blank.
People, places, and things come and go from our lives. Circumstances change. These are the givens of life, givens that often result in the feelings of grief. We can’t avoid these givens, we can’t always control them, nor can we run from them, we can’t numb them away, and we can only pretend we are fine for so long. Grief will always find a way to be heard, to be felt and to be healed.
R – Reality
Facing our reality brings acceptance. If we fight with reality thinking our resistance will somehow magically make things better, we will only cause more suffering and prolong our pain. Once we can accept our new reality fully, we can begin the process of healing. Making choices congruent with healing and take the necessary steps towards recovery from our losses.
I – Invitation
Once we can fully accept the reality of our loss or losses, we are invited to grow. We can take responsibility for how we respond to our grief. Every loss we experience is always an invitation to grow, learn, evolve and become a better person. This is not always evident during the onslaught of overwhelming emotions, however as the initial tsunami of grief subsides, we can respond to the invitation and allow ourselves to be open to new experiences, realizations, and growth.
E – Empower
With growth comes empowerment. Allowing our circumstances to change as they will, allowing our feelings to come and go which they will without reacting to them irrationally or negatively. When we can respond to our grief with compassion, acceptance, understanding and love versus reacting to our emotions, we are truly empowered.
F – Forgiveness and Freedom
Getting to the point of responding instead of reacting, we can learn to forgive ourselves, releasing us from self-inflicted pain and suffering. We can bestow this same courtesy to others, thereby also releasing any attachments to the pain caused by their actions. We can now fully heal and move forward in our lives, not taking for granted the life we have been given, that those gone before us no longer have to enjoy.
Enjoying the freedom to make choices for ourselves that are life enhancing, we can see the beauty and wonder in new experiences. We can learn to embrace the here and now with gratitude and joy.
“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” ~Maya Angelou