Grief Recovery - Perspective

The Transformative Power of Changing Your Perspective

The Transformative Power of Changing Your Perspective

We can never underestimate the power of changing our perspective. Doing so has the potential to heal our bodies, our minds, and our relationships. In a world filled with prejudice, judgment, hatred, and unresolved grief could a change in perspective make a difference? I feel it can and does if given the chance.

Let’s allow the word itself to take us on a journey on how to see things and people differently and open our minds and hearts to a better life and world.


People are people are people, we all share in our humanity

We are all people walking on the same planet, sharing the same air. We are all part of humanity, regardless of race, gender, nationality or religion trying to find our way in the world. No one is better than the other. It may seem that way based on outside appearances, but on the inside, we are all the same.

Everyone has a story

When we take the time to get to know someone, we will find that everyone has a story. We never know what someone’s story is and how it may be contributing to their behaviors, biases, beliefs and values. This allows us to be more compassionate than judgmental.

Recognize yourself in everyone

It is often said that life is our mirror. People reflect to us the parts of ourselves we may not recognize or characteristics we don’t want to own. If we can view others as a reflection, we are less likely to judge them, or aggrandize them and view them as more of an equal.

Success is a matter of opinion

What success means to one person may be completely different to someone else. When we allow someone else’s version of success determine our worth we can rob our self of our own fulfillment. For some success can mean raising well adjusted children, for others it could mean travelling the world, for someone else it could me climbing the corporate latter. Seeing that there are as many versions of success as there are individuals, we can stop judging people for not meeting our version.

Put yourself in someone else’s shoes

Honestly, we have no idea the path that someone else has walked. The best thing to do is get off our high horses and try to imagine what it would be like to walk in another’s shoes before we condemn them for their actions, choices, or decisions. Until we have walked in their shoes, we really have to idea what we would do given the same circumstances or conditions.

Enlightenment is a journey not a destination

We are all on our own individual paths with our own set of lessons, hardships, wins and losses. Some believe that things happen for us not too us. There can be some truth and potential comfort in that if we choose to look at that perspective. Life is always giving us opportunities for personal growth, evolution and newfound wisdom. Unfortunately, sometimes those opportunities can show up in the most chaotic of ways, with suffering a pain. That is the journey called life.

Change the way you look at things, and things will change

Many a spiritual guru has spoken these words, and for good reason – it works. So often it is our perception of things that creates our thoughts, feelings and actions. If you see someone as an enemy to be disliked you will create a hostile environment, if you see them as a fellow being deserving of kindness you will create a peaceful environment. How you see things creates your reality.

Tend to your own garden first and foremost

It is very easy to look at someone else’s life and judge and criticize, pointing out their weeds and imperfections. This however is not productive nor is it going to make the world a better place. We must start at home, looking at our own weeks and pulling them. The world is not going to become better; life is not going to become better when our focus is always outside of ourselves. That is just an excuse to not look at where we can and should improve. You will only begin to appreciate others and the challenges of life we ALL face when you start to shift your focus to becoming a better version of yourself.

In our suffering we are all one

There is much suffering in the world. In times of crisis, such as 9/11 people came together working as one, with one goal in mind to save lives. In times of loss and grief we feel connected to others who have also suffered a loss and are grieving. Loss and suffering have a way of reminding us of what is important and putting our differences aside.

Values are individual, not to be forced onto others

Not everyone has the same set of values, or conducts their lives based on the same set of values. Nor should we. Our values drive our actions, choices, and decisions. They are at the heart of what matters to us and what makes us come alive. To expect others to live according to our values is to kill their spirit. When you see that others have different values you can be more accepting and accommodating, less judgmental and controlling.

Everyone is ultimately looking for the same thing; LOVE

Love is the glue that creates bonds, connection, and peace in our hearts, minds and the world. However, we are often looking for it in all the wrong places and going about finding it in all the wrongs ways. We are seeing it as something outside of ourselves as something to get. If we could change our perspective and see it as something inside of us that we have always had and ours to give how things would change. Give the love you wish to receive and be the love you wish to see in the world, and it will flow back to you in abundance.

I have found in working with many people either with coaching or with unresolved grief that a shift in perspective has the power to change everything, including our ability to get through the inevitable losses that can and will occur.