How to Stop Being a Victim and Victimizing

“Watch out for the joy stealers: gossip, criticism, complaining, faultfinding and a negative judgmental attitude.” ~ Joyce Myer

“I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.” ~ Mahatma Gandi

“Relationships are an exchange of energy.” ~ Judith Orloff

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” ~ Wayne Dyer

Like it or not, not everybody has their ‘sh#t’ together. In fact, I would dare say most people out there are struggling in life. They are struggling with relationships, their career and purpose, unresolved grief, life traumas and the hardest struggle of all – low self-worth.

stop being a victim

On the surface people can package themselves up pretty nicely to look like they do in fact have it all together; good job, nice home, great car, nice clothes, devoted spouse, successful business, great kids… the list is endless. However, inside things may not be so rosy.

The reality is when all of the uncomfortable feelings we are carrying inside become too much, they boil over in the form of attack, hostility, anger, intolerance, judgment and criticism. Basically, we want to throw our feelings onto another person. This seems like the quickest and easiest way to deal with them; or is it just the only way we know how?

When we find ourselves in situations like these we are either the victim or the victimizer; in some cases we can become both if things go on long enough. Sound familiar?

Here are some immediate strategies you can adopt right away to help stop you from being a victim and being a victimizer.

1. Realize when someone attacks you it’s not personal. They are just taking out all of their unresolved issues on you. Regardless of what you did or didn’t do, something in them was triggered whether a memory from the past, an insecurity, or long held fears and beliefs. Point being their reaction is all about them. How you react to it is all about you. If you respond in like, then you have become a victim. If you respond with compassion, then you have retained your power. This does not mean you have to stand there and be abused. It means you don’t catch their garbage by taking it personally.

2. Stop blaming other people for your feelings. Take personal responsibility for what reactions or emotions are happening within you. Figure out why they are happening; where they are coming from and don’t react to them by attacking and blaming other people for them. Just like how other people treat us is about them, how we react and treat other people is about us. As soon as you start to blame you are a victim and have lost your power to make things better.

3. Take responsibility for your own personal healing. Do something to help resolve your struggles, insecurities, grief and feelings about yourself. Seek help. Life is not meant to be lived in a bubble. We all need support and help. Hiding behind veils in denial that we do in fact need help will not make things go away.

We all have to take personal responsibility for who we are, what we do, and how we react. Emotional healing starts here. Peace starts here. Happiness starts here. Freedom starts here.

How we eat affects our mood and our mood affects how we respond to people around us. Another way to help yourself feel better is to eat better.

Try out this great salmon recipe.

Salmon is a great source of animal protein; not too hard to digest, a brain food full of healthy fats.

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