“Don’t run away from Grief, O’Soul, look for the Remedy inside the Pain. Because the Rose came from the Thorn and the Ruby came from a Stone.” ~Rumi
“The Soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind.” ~Caroline Myss
“Embrace your grief. For there, your Soul will grow.” ~Carl Jung
“Grief does not change you… It reveals you.” ~John Green
“The truth will set you free, but you have to endure the labor pains of birthing it.” ~Iyanla Vanzant
When we suffer loss and experience grief, no matter how large or small, there are two lenses with which we can choose to view it. We can either see ourselves as a victim through the ego’s preferred lens, or as a soul being asked to grow and expand.
I have found that seeing our grief as an opportunity to grow the qualities of our soul a much healthier and healing view. This does not mean we pretend we are not sad or hurting; it means we give ourselves a gift from our loss rather than staying stuck in the depths of our despair. It gives us hope that we can become a better person from the difficult experiences of our lives.
I believe all loss comes bearing a gift for our soul. The question we need to ask ourselves is this: “What quality we are being asked to grow?”
If we take the time to see what emotions, actions, and reactions are being triggered by our loss we can find the answer.
For example, think of the following qualities:
Authenticity and sincerity – are you afraid to share your true feelings and be real in front of people?
- Love – do you need to reach out to others and show more love and kindness?
- Understanding – do you need to be less judgmental?
- Detachment – do you need to learn to let go?
- Humor – do you need to learn to lighten up and not take things so seriously?
- Courage – do you need to step out of your comfort zones?
- Wisdom – do you need to apply your knowledge?
- Service – do you need to learn how to be of greater service to others in need?
- Sharing – do you need to be more generous of your time and resources?
- Humility – do you need to become more grateful?
- Patience – do you need to slow down and allow things to happen in diving right order?
- Perseverance – do you need to learn to not give up on yourself or others?
- Responsibility – do you need to become more responsible for your own life?
Grief is a normal reaction to loss; everyone will experience it sometime in his or her life. Not everyone, however, will seize grief as an opportunity for personal growth.
You can see when someone does capture the opportunity. Instead of being ego-guided, they become kinder, gentler, more compassionate, more generous, more loving, more determined, and more spiritually guided.
The choice is yours. Which lens will you choose? What Quality of the Soul is your Grief asking you to embrace and grow?
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