“Most people enter into relationships with an eye toward what they can get out of them, rather than what they can put into them. The purpose of a relationship is to decide what part of yourself you’d like to see “show up,” not what part of another you can capture and hold. The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you; but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.” ~ Neale Donald Walsch
“The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.” ~ Anthony Robbins
“Real magic in relationships means and absence of judgment of others.” ~ Wayne Dyer
“We can improve our relationships with others be leaps and bounds if we become encouragers instead of critics.” ~ Joyce Meyer
“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves.” ~ Steve Maraboli
Life is all about relationships, isn’t it?
Think about it, we spend all of our time being in relationship. Whether it is with a romantic partner, child, sibling, parent, co-worker, work partner, or friend, we are always in a relationship of some sort.
So what is the purpose of these relationships? Do they have a purpose? Have you ever really given it any thought? Most people don’t really think about this, because it is just something we do and have always done.
I like to think all relationships in our lives have a purpose of sorts. I like to think there are no accidents or coincidences as to who is in our lives, be it for a brief moment or for a lifetime.
If you think about your life as having a purpose, something I wrote about last week, then we can stretch that to include the people in our lives as playing a part in the unfolding of that purpose, can we not?
I feel our primary purpose here on earth is to become the best version of ourselves (which is going to look and feel different for everyone) and to take personal responsibility in working towards this purpose. Why? Because when we show up as the best we can be emotionally, physically and spiritually we can’t help but contribute to the healing of others and the healing of the planet.
What contributes greatly in this primary purpose is our relationship with others. These relationships teach and show us who we are, where we need to heal, where we need to grow, what qualities we would like to embody, where we need to change, and give us the opportunity to grant others the same gifts in return.
Every encounter we have with another person is an opportunity to show up with love, kindness, compassion, forgiveness, understanding, acceptance, appreciation, honesty and authenticity. It can also be a lure to show up with fear, anger, judgment, envy, criticism, blame, hatred, shame, dishonesty and fakeness.
How we show up is our lesson, not to be judged but to be observed. Sometimes we may be the teacher and other times we are the student and many times we are both. The point is to see the lesson, learn the lesson and move onward and forward as a better person.
The following poem has always stayed with me; maybe you have read it before. Either way enjoy.
A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.